I Am Invincible
I seen some things.
Escape Plan
I wish I would make things work better for me. My whole life, I’ve felt like if I would just try harder, I could make things go really well. I’ve felt this way about school, work, relationships, and almost everything I do.
But I always abandon the endeavor early. I see trouble on the horizon and I make sure I’m ready to abandon ship. I always keep a back up plan. Does that sound like someone who’s committed to anything?
Though, when I look back at the results I’ve survived, it seems like I need the escape plans I create. Do I sabotage myself by considering the possibility of failure?
I worry that I’m running out of back up plans.
"How long wilt thou sleep, O sluggard? when wilt thou arise out of thy sleep? Yet a little sleep, a little slumber, a little folding of the hands to sleep: So shall thy poverty come as one that travelleth, and thy want as an armed man."
Proverbs 6:9-11
Neutral Milk Hotel - Two Headed Boy
"The world breaks everyone and afterward many are strong at the broken places. But those that will not break it kills. It kills the very good and the very gentle and the very brave impartially. If you are none of these you can be sure it will kill you too but there will be no special hurry."
Ernest Hemingway, A Farewell To Arms
“Tears, Idle Tears” by Alfred Tennyson
Tears, idle tears, I know not what they mean,
Tears from the depth of some divine despair
Rise in the heart, and gather to the eyes,
In looking on the happy Autumn-fields,
And thinking of the days that are no more.
Fresh as the first beam glittering on a sail,
That brings our friends up from the underworld,
Sad as the last which reddens over one
That sinks with all we love below the verge;
So sad, so fresh, the days that are no more.
Ah, sad and strange as in dark summer dawns
The earliest pipe of half-awakened birds
To dying ears, when unto dying eyes
The casement slowly grows a glimmering square;
So sad, so strange, the days that are no more.
Dear as remembered kisses after death,
And sweet as those by hopeless fancy feigned
On lips that are for others; deep as love,
Deep as first love, and wild with all regret;
O Death in Life, the days that are no more!
Oh, Nietzsche…
“And when you gaze long into an abyss the abyss also gazes into you.”
-Friedrich Nietzsche, Beyond Good and Evil
I think about this when I’m peering into the toilet.
